
Don’t Quit
Do it for You and all the times you had just You
“You’ve been through a lot.” someone said to me recently as we conversed and shared pieces of our stories with each other.
Yeah, I have been through a lot. That has been the story of my life. And… so has everyone else. I’m not more special than anyone else. My willingness to never give up might set me apart from others. To keep going and to find a way to be better than I was yesterday.
My life hasn’t been easy and there have been times when I wanted to quit and take the easy road out. Maybe revert to old habits, take a shortcut, or something worse.
There were times I wanted to quit on life. Times I wanted to quit on love and close my heart again. There were times I wanted to quit on the work I do and of supporting others. There were times I wanted to quit soccer and working out and just be a slob. Times I wanted to give up on everything and run away and just be alone and live out my days alone in the forest somewhere.
Life would be so much simpler on my own.
Can you relate? I assume that because you are reading these words you relate in some way.
I never did quit though. The ME today is grateful for that perseverance as it has created great strength and has inspired many others to keep going too. I love what I have created in my life through overcoming all the obstacles I have faced.
Today, I want to quickly share how I have grown by never giving up and how it can shift your life too.
I grew up in an abusive household. Physical, mental, and emotional abuse. It wasn’t easy. I was teased at school because of my name, for not being white, for being poor etc etc.
For the longest time I was filled with anger and rage, and I learned to lash out at the world. I took out my pain on anyone that I could.
This of course led to many problems. Problems with other people. Problems with the law. And issues within myself.
I was lost inside. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was pretending to be this tough, cool guy who didn’t care about anything and deep down inside I was dying, pretending to be OK like many Men in the world today and like many who came before me.
This went on for years. There were times I thought I was going to die. There were times that I thought I was going to jail for a long time. There were times that I didn’t recognize the face I saw in the mirror.
Then, came that fateful day when I found myself sitting in the pink cells at the old Edmonton Remand Center. I wasn’t sure how I found myself there and based on what I could piece together, I also knew that I might be there for a while. I was not guilty of whatever they thought I might have been involved in and I also wasn’t an innocent party.
That night might have been the first time I prayed as an adult. It might have also been the first time I asked for help too.
I prayed and asked Spirit that if there was a way for me to walk away from this, I promised that I was done with the lifestyle I had been living up to that point. I promised to walk away and do whatever it took for me to change my life.
My prayers were answered just a few hours later. The same cops that arrested me the previous night came into my cell and long story short… they said I was being let go. They didn’t find anything on me or in my car, so they had no reason to be able to keep me any longer.
Before letting me leave the building, one cop looked at me and said “Rodolfo, we never want to see you again.”
I looked him back straight in the eyes and said “Don’t worry. You are NEVER going to see me again!!”
I didn’t know what the F I was going to do next but I knew what I wasn’t going to do anymore. It was time for me to keep my end of the deal.
I was about to turn 27 years old, and I found myself moving back into my mom’s basement. Broke. Lost. Defeated. Deflated. Sad. Alone… Safe…
I had to start over. I got a job working for $10/hour. If it wasn’t obvious above, I used to sell drugs. That was a very lucrative profession. So going from that to working for $10/hour was quite the lifestyle change. It was tough goings, to say the least.
I was working 50 – 60 hours a week. I took the job because the owner of the business was one of the smartest people I ever met, and he was teaching me a lot about the world. I would stay extra hours almost every day just so I could pick his brain and learn as much as possible.
And then… we had a falling out. I quit my job and decided I was going to go 100% all in at the network marketing business I was working on the side. Two weeks later that company was shut down…
WTF!!
A year after committing to changing my life and I found myself in the same place again. Broke. Lost. Defeated. Deflated. Sad. Alone… Safe…
The temptation to return to my old ways to make some quick cash was strong in the air. I remembered what I promised myself and to Spirit and I didn’t look back.
Then, a turning point in my life came. My friend reminded me about a personal development program she had been telling me about for almost a year. I had wanted to attend before as I have always loved to learn and I was working 60 hours a week, working a side business, and other things. Now, most of that was gone. I finally had time.
This was the Level 1 Earth Journey with Integrity Seminars. It is a three-day course and by the end of Day 2, I knew that this was where I needed to be if I was going to make positive shifts in my life. (Learn more about that here.)
I dove into everything I could with Integrity. All of their free offerings. All of their paid offerings. I volunteered whenever I could. Anything I could to be able to be in this positive, uplifting environment.
During this time, I worked a variety of jobs to pay the bills and get myself out of some bad $$ holes. I was still living at my mom’s house. She provided a space for me to feel safe while I worked on putting the pieces of my life back together.
Then came another important turning point on my journey. I was working at a machine shop at the time. I had loved being there at first because I was finally learning how to use tools and I was getting paid pretty well. This feeling lasted about a year and then I got tired of it for a variety of reasons AND I hadn’t been able to work up the courage to walk away because I was getting paid pretty well.
Then, the day after the company Christmas Party in December 2015, I arrived at work ready for another regular day. Once it hit time to start, my manager came to find me and said “Rodolfo, come with me.” I followed him curiously as he led me to a meeting room.
All the while I was wondering what kind of meeting this was as most of the people in there were people that I did not directly work with. Then, the VP of the company walked into the room and said “As of right now, everyone in this room is being laid off.”
Inside my mind, I was like “oooooooooohhhhhh that’s the kind of meeting this is!!”
I was looking around the room and people were shocked, and some were distressed. People had mortgages. One guy just got engaged. People had families.
Also going on inside my head at the same time was a party!! I had none of those things and I had been wanting to quit anyways. I was ecstatic because now I could walk away from my job, go on EI (employment insurance), and work on my dreams while still getting paid. What a WIN!
I got to work as soon as I got home. I worked on various projects and then that next summer I went to a weekend retreat about learning how to write a book. I had never felt so inspired to act.
I decided I would start writing this book. Long story short, I was going to work with a publishing company to publish my book and me being me, I didn’t like being told what to do and how to do it, so I decided to do it on my own and self publish my book.
I worked on it for the rest of the time that I was on EI and once EI ran out, I kept working. I had a little side job for cash that I was working at the time to pay bills but that wasn’t enough once my EI ran out.
Then, my book was finished. Editing completed. And I found myself in a familiar place again…
Broke. Lost. Defeated. Deflated. Sad. Alone… Safe…
I wanted to have a cool Book Release party and I was broke. I was determined though.
I started a GoFundMe project to raise money. I borrowed money to order enough books to have on hand. My friend helped with costs on the day of. It was a great night. Something to be truly proud of.
I thought that after this night things would just flow easily in my life. I was doing good in my life. I did a lot to heal myself emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I was helping others do the same. I was being a good fucken person and doing good things with my time and energy.
And then… I found myself in a familiar place again…
Broke. Lost. Defeated. Deflated. Sad. Alone… Safe…
I was ready to fucken quit!!! I remember thinking to myself “Why is this so fucken hard??” I am being a good person, and nothing works out for me. It was so easy when I was selling drugs and being a bad person. People would literally throw money at me.
Why was doing bad so easy and lucrative and why was doing good things so fucken hard? Should I just go back to my old ways and have it “easy?”
During the time that I was raising funds for my book release I also registered to become a Certified Life Coach with Integrity Seminars. Signed up for that in good faith. I had good credit with them haha.
Part of the program was having practice coaching sessions with Rae-ann (the President and Founder) and then doing those sessions for other people.
One session in particular had a profound impact on my life. My lesson from that was to stop worrying about all the things that I did not have and to start focusing on becoming the kind of Man that would attract what I wanted in my life. A very different energy.
I started working on becoming a better man. A man with better habits. A man with healthier beliefs about himself and the world around him. A man with a better relationship with $$ and with people.
Then, one day as I was looking for work still, I was volunteering at a course for Integrity. Rae-ann was going through some business shifts and she looked at me and asked me if I wanted a job!!
I did not know what I was saying yes to, and I knew that it was a Yes for me. Integrity had helped me change my life and I knew it was the place for me to be. It was only part-time to start.
The same week I took that job I also took a job for a local company that was a designated driver service. Essentially, I was driving drunk people and their cars home. I was also still working my side job on weekends and working on doing my Life Coaching certification.
There were weekends where I would work Friday night until 4 or 5 AM, be at my other job from 11 – 530 PM and then drive again from 9 PM to 4 or 5 AM Saturday and then at Integrity most of the day on Sunday.
I had no social life on weekends. No social life at all really. I didn’t go on any dates for what seemed like a very long time. I said no to many things during this period of my life. This lasted well over a year. Probably closer to two years.
I hated it a lot of the time. And, I remembered my part of the deal that I had made with Spirit all those years ago.
I said I would do whatever it took to change my life. No one said it would be easy. This was my test as to how badly I wanted it. The temptation of my old life would come here and there as another test.
I kept my head down and did the work. I finished my Life Coach Certification. I paid off all my debt.
Then I was able to quit the driving job. A couple of years later I quit the weekend job.
Now, I work at Integrity full-time and help run the place. I make my own schedule for the most part. I have completed Shamanic Coach certification, Meditation Teacher training, run a men’s group, run meditations, speak, and more.
I have freedom and flexibility in my life.
I love where my life is today. I love being able to make my schedule. I love the flexibility I have in my life. I love the people I have in my life. I love ME. I Love. I get to help make the world a better place.
I got to go to the Edmonton Remand on Christmas Day 2024 and speak to the inmates about how to change their lives.
I make a difference. I create impact.
None of this would have happened if I had quit and went back to the old ways.
Any time you want to make major life shifts things will come to test you. The same goes for any time you want to heal. Any time you want to level up. Any time you want to accomplish something you haven’t done before.
At first, you will see some immediate short gains. This is the universe telling you that what you are working towards is indeed possible for you. And then… come the tests and the struggles and the obstacles and the wolves in sheep’s clothing. The bigger the goal the bigger the obstacles and attacks will be.
It won’t be easy but no matter what Don’t Give Up!! If you take 9 steps backwards make sure you take 10 forward. If you fall make sure you get back up.
Ask for help. It is ok to not be ok.
Educate yourself. Make a plan. Find your Why. Commit.
Do it for all the times you only had you.
Whatever you do though. Don’t quit!! I promise it will be worth it.
If you want to learn how to Live an Empowered Life, consider joining us for the Empowerment Series in Edmonton on August 8th. It is a live event hosted by Integrity Seminars that promises to be a great evening with lots of great wisdom being shared.
Hasta Luego,
Rodolfo Menjivar
StarFox Guardian